Tousen's OTL moments
by rolf-hitsugaya
Summary: Tousen has had enough of the popularity around Gin and Aizen, so he asks for help from them. How will it ensue? Massive OOCness and Randomness. T for language. R&R! Compliments of the Season everyone! XD


A short oneshot about our trio. Enjoy.

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Tousen knew his was different. Well, he is, popularity wise.

Everyone loved Aizen. When he brushed his hair, all the fangirls, whether it'll be the humans, Soul Reapers or the female Arrancars, would squeal and become hot and wet down below. His power's extraordinary too. I mean, Hitsugaya, Hinamori, Ichigo, Shinji, heck all of Soul Society fell pray to it. And, did I mention the crazy fangirls?

As for Ichimaru, he has a great way of speaking. That cute "Bye bye!" and the way he brings others into the conversation, is unique. Plus, who else has closed eyes and a great smile?

As for Tousen, he never gained that much popularity. His hair, is atrocious, to say. I mean, seriously, no one else braids their hair, I guess, and who talks about justice all the time? It was time for him to change... So, he asked them for tips.

As Tousen walked up the steps to Aizen's throne, he raised an eyebrow at his minion. "Kaname, what brings you to me, today? We ain't planning on world domination, mind-raping Hinamori or fighting over fangirls with Byakuya and Hitsugaya. In fact, today's a holiday? But, what seemed to be the problem." Aizen said as he brushed his fringe. Tousen sighed at his 'beauty'.

"Well, Aizen-sama," Tousen rubbed his blind eyes. "I've been thinking... you have fangirls running after you, screaming your name on high, and I thought; I want that same satisfaction, so would you tell me your secret?"

"Ah..." Aizen smiled as he took a sip of coffee he was advertising for a company to Hueco Mundo. "Well, one thing is, you need beautiful hair. And, to show it off. Flaunt your beauty, show off your flair, and mesmerize the girls. But-" Aizen seemed to be interrupted.

"Alrighty ho! I shall show off my hair!" he cried as he tried adjusting his hair.

"No Kaname no! It'll-" he was interrupted again as Tousen shushed him. Aizen actually wanted to tell Tousen that his hair was ugly, and had no hope of curing.

"Aizen-sama, take a look at this revelation!!!" as he brushed his hair with his fingers. Aizen's eyes went shocked as he sinked into his seat.

"No Tousen! I'm turning blind! My eye burns!!! My brain hurts! My tooth aches!!" he screamed as Tousen swirled his head as his locks swayed inelegantly.

"How is this, Aizen-sama?" Tousen smiled as Aizen screamed. "My eyes!!!! It burns!!!! Tousen, you FUCKING FAIL!!!!" he lashed coldly at him as he went into an OTL position in the corner of the castle.

Just then, a whistling Gin was smiling as greeting all the arrancar walking around when he noticed a darkness-filled reiatsu. "Hmm, everyone has darkness-filled Reiatsu. Well, no biggy..." he walked past Tousen, who was still sulking on the floor. Gin the walked back and waved at him. "Hi Tousen!"

"Go away Ichimaru..." Tousen sobbed as Ichimaru got him up and thought carefully. "Why'd ya sulkin'? I mean, today's meant to be a holiday! Enjoy yourself!"

"Well, Ichimaru..." Tousen finally opened up. "Aizen dished me. He said I was a fuckin' failure because of my hair.... can you help me to be cool? All I wanted was to be so, so can you help?"

Ichimaru replied immediately"Of course, Fo' Shizzle, My Nizzle!"

Tousen cried out again. Gin wondered why. "Why'd ya sobbing?"

"Well, you talk all cool and all, so can you teach me how to speak cool?"

"Of course! I already agreed to help you." Gin gave a thumbs up at his buddy as they sat down. "Okay, here's ya book. **Speaking for Dummies**."

Tousen looked at Gin and pointed the finger at him. "Gin, I'm blind. And I can't READ!"

Gin giggled a little as he took the book away. "My wrong. Well, I guess I'll gotta teach ya verbally. First word's Homie. Meaning, your friend.''

"Okay, I will try... What is up, Homie." he said in monotone. Gin shrugged his shoulders.

"Say it in a more hippy hoppy way! Yo, what's up! Me homies!?" he cried out as he did all the actions necessary.

"Okay, next word, please." Tousen mumbled.

"Okay, say this. Fo Shizzle My Nizzle, Beeyotch!"

"Okay..." Tousen 'concentrated' "Fo Shi... erm.... my nipple, Bee Yolk?" he said, mixing the words wrongly. Gin Facepalmed.

"Hey, you ain't gotta natural flair man. I think you gotta speak naturally, yea?" Gin patted his back. "Like for me, I call several people by names. Ran, Mini Taicho for you should know who, and who can forget, me trademark, BYE BYE!"

"Oh, well.... what do I say all the time..." Tousen thought. Ah! "Justice! Everyone should follow Justice! The path with the least bloodshed! Justice!"

Gin had a WTF moment as he sweatdropped. "Tousen, it ain't being very well. You don't seemed... cool enough..."

"NNOOOOOOO......." Tousen cried as he sobbed on the floor. "My life, is ruined...."

"Wah..." Wonderweiss appeared next to Tousen. Tousen, one to know Wonderweiss' words, listened hard. "Ah..... Oh.... Ee.... Wee!!"

Tousen shed another tear. "You said I suck!!! Wah!!!" he cried somemore.

_Meanwhile..._

On top of Aizen's throne, Gin drank coffee with his master.

"Why do you think Tousen's crying?" Aizen asked.

Gin grinned. "Maybe, he ain't as epic as us."

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Yea, me short oneshot. Random and crazy too. I always wondered how Tousen would feel left out with Aizen and Gin XD

Reviews are appreciated! XD

And this story was inspired by several people from this website:

theinsanearmy. proboards. com

Yea, interesting convos can come from here XD


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